“Well, aren’t you adorable”, she says to me, emphasising the you (as if she needs to say that “this is not me time, this is someone else, but I’ll be damned if I’m spending time pronouncing the adorable for some irksome underdeveloped crotch spawn that just cramps the vibe at parties”). Then she gives me a tight cold hug that impales me on her earring.
Disdainfully she turns away from me, to scan the cabinets for alcohol. She is offered white wine or beer. She grudgingly settles for Baileys found at the back of a cupboard behind some vintage Babycham glasses. I can feel that my presence is stifling the adult conversation. So I retreat to my room and listen to the mumblings through the wall as I tip the lego from my bucket.
The nostalgia show. There they are on the stage, the songs you remember from your youth. The faces have changed, the drummer is someone’s son. The original singer is there, yet the mane has long gone and his face is ashen. Looking around, time has taken it’s toll on the audience too, they sway and swoon with eyes to the moon. Trying to capture those yesteryears through sound and image. Dust of the past passing through the fingers.
C’était Un Rendezvous
A movie by Claude Lelouch, a favourite of mine for many years. Claude they say, drives his Ferrari 275 through Paris early in the morning, no preparation, just goes for it full on, like a cop at a protester. It’s a silly adrenaline fuelled piece dear to the keen driver’s heart. A few years back a learn’t that he was not driving his Ferrari at all, but just a Mercedes saloon, with a dubbed soundtrack. It lost it’s gonzo nature right there, and turned into fiction. Yet the other day I thought, well, I still love the X-wing scenes through the Deathstar trenches in Star Wars. Though I’m pretty sure they are not real X-wings.. maybe it is the fact I am sore I was fooled.
Clean shaven, for all his heroes are the same. Chin as clean as his conscience. Not from lack of sin, from lack of care. No tears are shed.
He has things, collects things, cars, jewellery. Nature is just things too. Lives to strut and Intimidate. His girlfriend is another thing, to be seen and used.
He has no concept of empathy. I do not know how or why he acts this way.
I just know he is the most destructive force on this earth.